Misery Diet





OK, so here’s what’cha gunna do…
Cut out sugar.
Cut out grains.
Cut out carbs.
Cut out gluten

In fact cut out ANY foods you enjoy.

No fats and carbs together.

No carbs after 6pm.

Absolutely no treats. None.

None what so ever.


DEFINITELY no foods that you enjoy because they will send your hormones spiralling out of control and you will end up three stone heavier by tomorrow morning… FACT.

Death, despair and misery must enter your life before you lose fat, gain curves and turn in to Megan Fox using shakes provided by Linda, who works in accounts.

(Tell you about her later)


If you’re not stressing about macros, nutrient timing and sodium intake, you are 100% not doing it right.

That’s right.


Suffering is where it’s at.

More misery … more fat loss… more results.

Buy organic EVERYTHING… the more money you throw at that miracle organic shit… the faster your results.

Make sure Everything you’re eating
(including your coconut oil)
is smothered in coconut oil.

If you’re not ‘beasting’ yourself (Whatever that means) for at least 2 hours a day in the gym, to the point of actual near death by burpees?


Have a 400-500 calorie Holy Grail breakfast shake

Shake recipe must include the tears of a 65 year old male virgin and a camel testicle ..
Camel testicle must be extracted from camel by said virgin.

Otherwise …
Guess what? …
No fat loss for YOU.



(Camel bollock will keep you satiated till lunch time)

(So would eating ACTUAL breakfast but hey- MISERY)

All kindsa camel ball misery.

And heaven forbid you should forget to take your cleansing Aloe 100% natural Jesus Juice, soul cleansing, miracle working herba-detox capsules.

(And make sure you buy them from Linda, who works in accounts, who has been at Slimming World for the past 3 years and did a 5K 1 time so she’s now an expert… Cause she 100% knows what she’s talking about)


You could do non of those things.

Leave the camel balls, despair and misery to Linda, from accounts.

Eat a diet of food you actually ENJOY and just stick to the principle of an energy deficit and a flexible diet whilst losing fat and gaining curves.

Getting back your mojo and creating a body you LOVE.

Just like the women I work with.
Women just like you.

Who I soon get on the straight and narrow, with zero Camel bollocks in sight


Here’s the thing..

It’s REALLY not about the misery and despair, it’s about you and what works for you and how your life is set up, what you value at the heart of it and becoming the Youiest You (whatever that means to YOU)

So, to help ya out on your very own 7 Days to a Tooo Hottie You, I’m gunna gift you my taster versions of my Fake Aways ebook tomorrow, with some fun, strictly non Misery diet recipes so ya can see the light, Sista..

Just like my SOS gals Emma, Helen, Amanda and Nicola did, in the ‘ps’ of this blog..

Who are all busy gals with kids, jobs and social lives btw

Love char xx

ps check out my SOS gals here