The Truth About Your Bullsh*t Bathtime..



The Truth About Your Bullsh*t Bath time?

So this year, I didn’t make a New Years resolution but I made a conscious decision to stay OFF my Newsfeed as much as possible, unfollow all fitness models off Instagram and stop stalking people on Twitter.


Don’t pretend you don’t stalk.

The amount of times I’ve ended up 5 people deep on someone’s page I don’t even know is ridiculous.

I mean  FlakeyB is ALL just self promotion- no one shares their bad days or the shit stuff and it’s so easy to compare your own life to everyone else’s Best bits and feel shit about it… But it’s not real life

For example I have this girl as a facebook friend who incessantly posts selfies..

Like constantly…

I’m all for a selfie but I don’t know how she works or does anything else productive with her day because we all know that there’s only one out of at least fifty selfies that makes the cut… And that shit’s time consuming.

And these aren’t any ordinary kinda selfies like ‘Here’s me and my dog’

…oh no

One, for example, was her in the bath, fully made up with freshly tousled hair perfectly draping down chest on to her, as she gazed with obvious forced interest at a book she was reading over the bath edge.

All amidst strategically placed bubbles with just enough side boob showing (obvs)

Equipped with a caption that read ‘when your girl invades your relaxing bath time unannounced’

Lets just stop right there.Read that again.



I mean, please, Hun..

I don’t know about you, Sista, but when I’m in the bath I’m frikkin bright red with a foot hanging out of the side cause it too hot (don’t know why I think this cools me down), no make up on apart from leftover mascara under my eyes, my hair in a pineapple and usually a peel off face mask, half of which is usually hanging off my face!

If someone took a picture of ME ‘unannounced’ some serious arse kicking would be going down… That picture would be going NOWHERE, I tell thee.

But just so you can get the gist.. here’s one I took myself. Meh.


Let’s just analyse this whole situation for a second..

You’re having a bath while ‘your girl’ is at your house? do you not think that’s a bit rude? Where  have you left her exactly? If your friend has just wandered in to your house and wandered upstairs, unannounced? Shouldn’t you be locking your door?
Were you really that enthralled in your book as to ignore an intruder entering your bathroom that you didn’t even look up from your book as someone opens the door and takes a picture of you while you’re in the bath? Why werent you scared? have you never seen the bathroom scene in the film Psycho? Is someone just appearing all of a sudden in your bathroom unannounced a common occurrence?

Why exactly have you found the need to post said ‘unannounced picture’ on your OWN page, suggesting it was taken on your OWN phone?

Is it not majorly creepy that your friend is A. taking pictures of you in the bath unannounced like some weird bath time voyeur B. Equally as creepy that you’ve asked her to send this picture to your own phone so you can post it to your Own Flakebook page.

Is ‘My girl’ code for “I took this myself but didn’t want to say that, so I didn’t look like a complete wanker on Facebook for staging pictures of myself in the bath?”

But I get it…

And that’s exactly it, it’s all staged self promotion. See I can’t do with this fake shit, it winds me up, it really annoys me.

Ya know why?

Because I spent the first 8 months of last year hash tagging the shit out of how happy I was… And I wasn’t .. I was fucking unbelievably miserable.

I was, as much as it pains me to say, a Flakebook wanker.

So now when I see it, I can spot this bullshit a mile off. I see it for what it is.. Peoples insecurities manifested on social media because you feel like you have to prove the opposite, maybe?

I’d have you consider that if you’re happy you’re busy being happy, not trying to convince people on Facebook.

It’s just complete fakery.

Plus, back to my story, who looks like that unannounced in the bath? No one!

Something else to think about..

I used work with someone who used to hashtag the shit out of her selfies with #shesquats #fitness #shelifts #gymlife … Ya know what she used to say to me in REAL life?

Absolute God’s honest truth..

“I don’t know how you can be arsed going in the gym, I couldn’t think of anything worse”



I absolutely kid you not, that is a direct quote.

See, if you’re on a journey Or you have a goal or whatever, make it your own don’t worry what anyone else is doing cause I can guarantee its bullshit! Don’t get sucked in to other people’s workouts, meals, what they eat blah blah how much money they have…. And especially not anyone else’s bullsh*t bathtime..