Why You’re Setting Your Self Up To Fail On Your Weight Loss Journey

Why You’re Setting Yourself Up To Fail On Your Weight Loss Journey, A Full Face Of Contour and Resting Judgy Face

Boring.
Eye Roll.
Don’t Care.

Ohhhhhh…
You. Are. Notttt proclaiming your undying love for the man of yo’ dreams that you met two weeks ago (again)??
Really??
SCREENSHOT


Boring.
Boring.

Your dog’s not even that cute

Neither are your kids.

 

Boring.

Boring.

JUST. CHILLIN?
What with your curly blow, full face of contour and strategic side boob on show in your cheap Ann Summer’s silks? … Off Ya F*ck, Hun.

Boring.
EYEBROWS.
Boring.

Hmmmm??
New relationship??
**Raises eyebrows**
That’ll never last..
LIKE.

Boring.
Don’t Care.
Don’t Care.

OMFG. …A Puppy that does a John Travolta impression??

SHUT.
THE.
FRONT.
DOOR…

I gotta get me one’a THOSE.
Ok let’s Google Dancing John Travolta Puppy.

===========================================
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Now up until recently THIS was how I was setting up my day.
My little, all be it slightly up turned, button nose in everyone else’s shit.

(And before you say it, I already know what a non-judgmental joy I am to be around, so don’t worry yo’ little self, Hun)

I mean, do I really give a shit what Sandra (who came to my spinning class 1 time, eight years ago) is having for her lunch?
No.

No I don’t.

 

Is a dancing dog REALLY contributing to my day?

No.
No it’s not.

 

Nor is the guy I went to primary school with who is embarrassingly indiscreet about ALL THE SEX and all the out of this world INSANO fun that he’s 100% DEFINITELY having, with his new rebound bird.

 

I mean, c’mooooon, if you’ve gotta force it, it’s probably shit…

And also probably for the benefit of your ex…
Just a guess.

 

Anyhooo, like I said … Joy to be around.

 

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So what’s my point in all this?

 

Now ya know how many times I see this…

 

“You’re eating Wheet-a-Bix for breakfast Sandra? You’re going to hell”

 

Followed by a smug…

 

“MYYYYYY personal trainer says that you should be eating a PROTEIN based breakfast for optimal results”
(even though I don’t actually know what optimal results look like, since I’ve looked exactly the same as I did when I started training with MYYYYYYYYY personal trainer twelve months ago and have to eat my breakfast of stewing steak holding my nose)

 

I mean, nothing gives you a ‘breakfast complex’ like advice from some passive aggressive, Carpet Carrying Avenger who looks like he eats a full baby cow for breakfast whilst staring in to the eyes of it’s mother.

 

Yes TEXT BOOK says a protein based breakfast will keep you satiated till lunch time.

 

But guess what, it doesn’t work for everyone.

 

And I have a confession…

 

I don’t eat a protein based breakfast.

(Yes, I know, I’m going to hell with Sandra)

 

And neither do some of my clients.

 

And here’s where a lot of the FB- PT- Text Book Gurus get it wrong.

 

You think eating a few scrambled eggs for breakfast is gunna change your life and turn ya in to Megan Fox?

 

I mean, if it works for ya..

You get down witcha bad ‘scrambled egged’ self.

 

But for most women I work with
(the ones that have kids, jobs and social lives..

Like REAL ACTUAL women- probs just like you)
… need to look further than the breakfast part and take stock of what’s going in in THEIR whole morning..

 

I’ll have you consider that’s exactly what sets you up for the day..

 

Is the first thing you’re doing in the morning reaching for your phone from under the pillow and reading everyone else’s negative bullshit. The same bullshit that can put you in a bad mood just from the read of a certain person’s status?

 

Is Facebook also the last thing you’re seeing at night before you go to sleep?

 

Do you snooze your alarm 8 times before you drag your tired arse outta bed then survive the first part on coffee to function?

 

Do you run round after your kids, as soon as your eyes open in a mad panic to get everyone where they need to be on time?

 

Do you then skip breakfast entirely?

 

OR

 

Do you make a conscious effort to take some time for yourself?

To compose yourself?

Even if it’s just five minutes?
To wake up and get fresh straight outta bed?

 

I’m not talking jumping in a cold shower followed by some yoga and three hours of meditation… because REALLY?

 

That’s something that 20 year old, newly qualified PT’s with no kids, who still live at home with their mum and dad, say…

 Only to stress you out with guilt and feeling of inadequacy because THAT SHIT just isn’t realistic for most REAL LIFE women.

 I mean, while we’re at it, waking up next to Tom hardy would be great too, right?!

I’ll have you consider that the way you set yourself up in a morning can set you up for your WHOLE day.

 

I’ll also have you consider that the outcome of your day can be determined by your morning routine.

 

*****

You’re knackered from scrolling FB till late, so you snooze your alarm then have five minutes on FB where you see a passive aggressive status from that annoying knob head at work which immediately puts you in a bad mood.

You’re short with your kids ‘cause you’re grumpy, feel gross cause you have’t left enough time for a proper shower..

kids get to school JUST on time but you’re late because in the haze you forgot your laptop. At work you bump in to the knob head which reminds you of his arrogant pig status.. again bad mood.

 

You’re so knackered from all the rush and stress from work that you could have dealt with fine if you could just get your stupid self up out of bed and didn’t spend too long on FB at night, so you now skip the gym and have a comfort food tea and an obligatory few glasses of wine to ease the stress and make you feel better… and you’ll try and be better tomorrow (again)

 

******
Now with the gals on my SOS programme this is the EXACT stuff we work on, along with nutrition and training, to get to the ACTUAL bottom of why you’re STUCK and the ACTUAL things that are hindering your progress and in reality it’s probably not what ya thought it was.

 

I ask the questions then WE, together, plan it out and do the work.

 

If ya need a push in the right direction ya can apply for SOS here until the 20th March when the doors close…

 

Love Char ‘Judgy Mc Judgy Pants’ De Curtis

 

PS, If you’re reading this on my mailing list I’ve got a really special invitation for ya coming this week of how ya can join my tribe for free

Top 10 Gym Essentials That Busy Gals Need To Know

Charlotte De Curtis Fitness Professional

Top 10 Gym Essentials That Every Busy Gal Needs To Know

Headphones

“The music in the gym is shit” …
Now, unfortunately Beyonce, the playlist of any gym isn’t made with JUST YOU in mind.. so if you don’t like it take your own frikkin headphones Hun, K?

 

Fitness Blender.

If you find yourself getting stale or bored in the gym, or maybe you don’t have time to get to the gym AT ALL there are tons of apps and channels with workouts on that you can pinch for your self and even access on your phone for free whilst you’re at the gym (or working out from home) so you don’t have to spend a chunk of your workout staring aimlessly at machines wondering how the frikk to use them.
Check out Fitness Blender on Youtube for some gym inspo OR one of my glute workouts from my Too Hottie Booty Camp Programme Here

 

Spotify:

Nothing revs up a workout like your favourite songs, right? I’m all about Old School Britney … Don’t judge me. And Spotify have some of my FAVE EVER playlists that are ready made so you don’t have to piss about with your phone or music player and lose your flow mid workout.
Check out the ‘Gym Shark’ playlists on Spotify for some great workout soundtracks.

 

The RIGHT trainers

All trainers ARE NOT created Equal. So ya know that pair of trusty sneaks, with the big chunky sole, you pull out every now and again for any form of exercise from running to heavy weight training… well they might very well be hindering what you’re trying to achieve.

 

Now I’m not talkin’ about buying a whole new wardrobe of trainers but GET TO KNOW your training shoes. A lot of the girls I train either have lifting shoes/ converse/ Nike Metcons or (worst case scenario but better than a chunky sole) I get them to take their trainers off for heavy lifts like squats and deads.

WHY? Because a chunky trainer doesn’t give you enough stability or support in movements like this which are initiated through drive in the heels of the feet, which is so much more difficult from an unstable surface (like a chunky sole vs a flat sole)

So again, get to know your trainers.

A GOOD Sports Bra

Boobs have ligaments called Cooper ligaments which once stretched, never go back, que Spaniel Ear syndrome. As you can imagine, letting your puppies boing round ain’t gunna help out this situation, nor is it gunna be comfortable. Plus if ya’v got some decent sized pupsters and they’re not strapped down they really can get in the way of your movements in the gym.

 

Now, by ‘good sports bra’, I don’t mean a lycra Crop Top. I mean an ACTUAL BRA that’s gunna absorb shock and hold the gals down, outta the way.

 

The following are two of my faves and if you’re new to the Sports Bra game make sure ya go and get a proper ‘fitting’ appointment at a shop, you’ll be surprised how many people are walkin’ round in the wrong sized bra.

My Faves: Panache and Shock Absorber both available at http://www.bravissimo.com

 

A Litre Bottle of Water

You’ll be surprised how many people don’t drink enough water in general and you do need to drink even more when you’re training. Try your best to drink a litre of water whilst you exercise. I get my girls to add some BCAA’s to it too, deffo worth looking in to if ya wanna vamp up your results and recovery.

 

INVEST in Some ‘Go To’ Black Leggings

Now I’m a Nike gal, yep they’re more expensive than your H & M’s or ya Primarni’s but in my eyes there’s a lot to be said for R&D (research and development) of sport specific clothing by a sport specific brand… Which ya get from somewhere like Nike but not so much from your six quid Primark leggings.
Seriously, INVEST.
Even my 5 year old (worn to death) Nike leggings have never let me down and gone see through, become ill fitting at the knees or drawn attention to my sweaty groin… Jus’ sayin’

FAVES: Nike Power Epic Lux Tights

My Fitness Pal App:

If you don’t know your arse from your elbow when it comes to getting back into ‘eating healthily’ it might be an idea to get a nutrition and fitness tracker app then you can gauge EXACTLY what’s going on with your food and training.
There’s a full tele class dedicated to making your life easier on my SOS programme but this App in particular is fairly easy to use.

FitBit Activity Tracker:

If ya don’t have one… GET ONE.

Most of my gals have a Fit Bit activity tracker which allows them to keep track of their own activity ‘off session’ in order to stay on track of their goals. Also, most people work really well with the added accountability of a numerical goal that they can actually quantify, like trying to reach a consistent 10,000 steps per day, for example.

Plus there’s tons of things ya can do with it, all of which I also reveal on one of my tele classes on my SOS programme.

Love Char xx

PS, to find out more about my SOS programme or to apply you can click here (Warning it’s not for everyone)

Banana Girl & The Truth About Fitness magazines that All Women Should Know

Fitness
Fitness

 

So I saw something a few days a go about yet ANOTHER self proclaimed ‘fitness guru’ who called her self Banana Girl

Now, before reading it, my immature little mind immediately conjured up the scenario that she either sported a weird yellow cape with stripey Banana-In-Pyjama-eque tights

OR

She’d had more pricks than a pin cushion and was confessing a DailyMail-esque ‘kiss and tell’ type story

(which, truth be told, was why I chose to read it – meh)

But alas..

It transpired that Banana girl, in fact, ate 50 bananas a day

(Not gunna lie, I was hoping for willies)

But fecking hell… 50 bananas?!

Now I’m partial to a banana or two

(Easy tiger)

But 50??

And this (apparently) was part of a daily diet of 5,000 (yep five THOUSAND) calories

.. Or so she claimed.

But I wasn’t buying it..

See here’s the thing, a heck of a lot of the women I speak to are absolutely baffled by the shizzle they’ve read on the internet or in magazines, Banana Girl being no exception.

And with stories like this it’s no frikkin wonder most women I speak to don’t know their arse from their elbow, when it come to getting in shape.

It was only a few weeks ago that I shared another story about a single, vegan, mum who drank a sperm smoothie as part of what she considered a ‘nutritious’ breakfast, every day.

But here’s why I wasn’t buyin’ it. See, I had a few questions of my own..

Is it just me or would sperm not be classed as an animal product?

So Hun, you’re telling me you won’t wear leather because you’re Vegan but you’re quite happy with a shot of man yoghurt for breakfast?

(And is it jus me that’s genuinely intrigued as to where this single mum of two is getting this daily supply?)

I mean, other than a dog sh*t sandwich, I really can’t think of a more vile breakfast.

Ew.

But here’s the thing, not for one minute do I believe Banana Girl or The Sperm Guzzling Vegan.

why? Because it’s, quite simply, attention seeking bollocks.

(Soz)

See, what most women don’t realize is that even fitness magazines, which are often seen (wrongly) as the voice of authority in health and fitness are full of controversial, sensationalist stories which are written by journalists (who often aren’t even in the fitness field full stop) to sell magazines by gaining the attention of the prospective reader.

And ya know what gains attention and sells these glossy mags?

(Well, apart from shotting jizz for breakfast)

Some new fangled diet which is marketed to stressed out, over whelmed women who are desperate for an answer to their failed weight loss woes in the form of THE latest diet…

The sperm eating –  banana chug ’til ya vom – celebrity drink your own p*ss  detox.

So what’s the point of this email?

Why am I landing in your inbox talkin’ ’bout sperm and lack of banana willies?

BECAUSE…

If you’re about to do the whole “This is MY year.. New year, new me tings” and you feel like you’ve already fallen off the waggon, just two weeks in to January…

OR

Maybe you’re still finishing off selection boxes telling yourself you’re starting on Monday (again)..

OR

Maybe you’ve got off to a cracking start and you’re lovin’ your 2017 progress and the road you’re taking, just like my Kick Start gals who started with me on the 2nd of Jan and have collectively lost 3 and a half stone between them, so far.

Whatever point you’re at, be aware from whom you are taking advice.

Ask whether the advice you’re listening to relates to your situation.

Think whether or not the advice someone’s giving you is in the context of what you’re trying to achieve.

It was only last week that I was speaking to a gal in the gym who was trying to follow the advice and plans of a professional body builder.. Which, in theory, is great.
BUT..
Dude, you’re a mum of two with a 9-5 and a staff room full of biscuits, is this really gunna be conducive to what you’re trying to achieve? And is it necessary?
You’re really gunna live of white fish and rice for the foreseeable future
Really?

Or are ya gunna set ya self up for failure from the get go?

Think, have I done this before? Is this REALLY gunna work for me?

Think about it.. then put it into your own context..
Because I’d really hate for you to be shotting semen for breakfast.

Lotsa Love Char  xx