Boobs, Karma Sutra & How To Find the Perfect Sports Bra

So, I read something a while ago that stated..
 “You know your boobs are heading south if you can hold a pencil underneath them”
At 23 weeks pregnant, it’s safe to say that  these here sweater stretchers would easily , without a doubt, support nothing less than a jumbo marker pen…
Never mind a frikkin pencil.
And if that isn’t bad enough
Nothing tells you to reassess your current  jug support than being  amidst a spontaneous mid-afternoon sofa bonk, trapped in a karma sutra-eque position  whilst getting repeatedly bitch slapped in the face by your own boob…
True Story.
So that was it… New bra day
Knockers (my 7 year old’s pseudonym of choice)
Whatever you call them..
Get them babies strapped down with a good sports bra when you’re training…
The amount of people I see in the gym with zero breasticle support is astounding (great word) and arguably the most vital piece of equipment for us chicks…
Yet AMAZINGLY, three quarters of women in the UK wear the wrong sized Sports Bra.
Picture this, you’re going for Gold on the treadmill with your ill fitting sports bra, tiddeez flying everywhere…
believe me,  this really is less Pammy  Bay Watch and more Mummy Urangatang.
And if that visual  ain’t bad enough,  sweet cheeks…
Upon running or jumping around, the  jubblies of an average woman move up and down by a whopping 8.5cm
But all ain’t lost, my friend, this can be reduced by 52% when wearing a good fitting sports bra.
On another note, you let your  Mitchell Brothers loose to roam free as they please and you can GUARENTEE that they’ll end up as BFF’s to your belly button…
Like a pair of deflated balloons…
See, ones hooters are made up of fatty tissues and non elastic ‘Cooper’s ligaments’ that once stretched, ain’t  goin’ back Sista…
You can say hello to every woman’s worst nightmare
 …Spaniel’s Ears.
Dum dum duuuuum.
Now, I’ve had an abundance of Sports Bras  …
These days, I  pretty much live in the damn things and I’ve probably had every single brand going…
Shock Absorber being my favourite until I got my hands on the one I got recently.
Honestly it’s like the Holy Grail of Sports Bras
A black number  by Panache and I don’t think I’ll ever go back to another brand again.
Now, if you’re already reaching for the iPad at the realisation that you very well may soon fall victim to empty sand bags,  I’d highly highly recommend getting measured professionally, not just reaching for the size you THINK you might possibly be.
Now I knew my boobs we fuller but wouldn’t have ever guessed to pick up a 32FF bra (YIKES) …
I’d have probably just reached for the next back size up or something’s if I hadn’t got professionally measured.
The shop I go to is a great little shop in Bury called ‘Perfect Fit’ where they have an array (another great word- she’s on a roll) of bras that they try on you and fit you down to a tee.
Might be a treck if you’re not too local (Takes me about 40mins to get there)  but soooo worth going over even if just to get measured.
(FYI just so Ya know, I get no endorsement to promote this place what so ever but do just highly recommend the shop as this service is REALLY hard to come by.Ill post a link to their website in the ps)
So there you have it, protect your posture, save yourself shoulder problems, back pain, boob pain and the dreaded aforementioned saggy boobies and INVEST in a good sports bra.
A good one, will set you back 30 to 40 quid, don’t be a cheapskate people.
OR look at it like this…
Prevent the belly warmers with a 40 quid sports bra and save yourself a 6,000  surgical uplift.
Speaking of investments….
 Doors are now open to my Intensive 60 Day SOS programme until the end of the month only… then the doors close until further notice, prolly till January.
Investment minded, committed women, who are ready to take the plunge and aren’t offended by multiple boob pseudonyms 😉 need only apply here:
Ps… No whingers, whiners or moaners allowed either so if that’s you don’t bother clickin’
Pps…  Here’s the link to Perfect Fit in Bury >>