Have you ever noticed that if you stare at anything for too long you’ll find an imperfection?
And isn’t it funny that the more you stare, the same slight imperfection becomes more and more obvious?
Now for my personal training clients I deliver a series of videos, teleclasses and vlogs about all things health, fitness and nutrition and more often than not it’s just me sat in a room, talking to the camera.
And I have the absolute JOY of then editing these videos and listening back to my accent that is proper eloquent in ‘Burnley lass’ twang.
Have you ever done that?
Listened to yourself back on a video?
If you haven’t, hearing yourself on a video is ALL levels of cringe, believe me.
Now, not so long ago, amidst this same joyous cringe-fest that I endure, most days, to help out the women that I train, I started to notice that the more I watched the videos back, the more I started to dislike the way my mouth looked.
I’d sit fixated, staring at my mouth, particularly my thin top lip.
On every video I’d watch closer and closer as the same feeling of perplexity started to descend and I’d feel myself gawking closer and closer at the screen.
Which was kinda weird, because never before had this been a lip thing been a ‘thing’ that bothered me.
I mean, WHY has no one ever told me that my mouth looks like that?
Don’t get me wrong we ALL have our own hang ups…
The fact that my abs don’t like Britney Spears circa 2001, Slave For You.
But this wasn’t like that.
Every morning when I washed my face, brushed my teeth and put on my makeup.
Not only did I dislike my lips but NOW I had started looking at everyone else’s as well.
Everywhere I went I would be totally transfixed on everyone else’s lips, then compare my own thin top lip, which again, would encourage this weird rumination of lip envy.
With a slight tilt of the head, like a Pug hearing a high pitched whistle.
“Awww haven’t you got nice lips”
And there it was, pretty much out of nowhere, I hated my own.
So that was the start.
On came the onslaught of Instagram research because, well, lip filler, obvs.
I mean that’s what everyone does, right?
‘Hate it, Change it’ … is that not the culture we live in?
Boobs not big enough? Get a boob job
Waist not small enough? Get a waist trainer.
Fella doin’ your head in? Bury him in your back garden.
Problem solved, Hun.
And just like that I found a really reputable (and expensive) clinic in Liverpool, because I wasn’t gunna let just any Tom, Dick & Doreen fuck my face up.
Here’s the thing..
I see women. Every. Single. Day.
Who come in to my office and go..
“Well I hate my bum”
“And I hate my thighs”
“And I have cankles”
“And I don’t have Instagram abs”
“I’m too skinny”
“And I hate my collar bones”
“And I don’t have curves”
Seriously, I could go on..
And on ..
So, immediately, I’m like:
“Look, let’s just stop right there, just for a minute. What exactly DO you like about yourself? Let’s start there..”
Have you ever considered why you’re not asking your self that very question?
Why you’re focussing on what you hate?
Why you’re being such a bitch to yourself?
Because there it was, the lightbulb moment.
And just like that..
The post lip filler epiphany washed over me.
I actually like my face.
Yep. I do.
And the whole lip thing is just a very small part of my entire face.
I’m not saying my face is any cuter than anyone else’s, but for me, ya know what? I like it.
Yeah I’ve got a forehead you could fry an egg on, a mouth that resembles an equals sign, not to mention my eyebrow lady often asks me if I want my top lip waxing too (Cheer’s Hun).
But ya know what, both of those things compliment my face (Not so sure about the tash tho)
And I actually really like it.
(Again, my face.. not the tash)
Ya see, it then didn’t take long for realisation number two to rear it’s sparkly little head..
here’s the thing…
Have you ever had a compliment that you’ve found a bit odd?
Like why did you even notice that about me?
“Haven’t you got a nice hair line” is one that someone said to me recently.
Errrr, yeah, cheers?
Only to realise that, actually, don’t we ALL have these things that we home in on?
The things that we’re a little bit insecure about.
The things that we get fixated on about other people because we’re insecure about our own?
Brought about by shining our own torch beams on all the shit stuff that we haven’t got?
So, since this whole lip filler fiasco, I’ve challenged pretty much every single woman I’ve come across who’s hating on her body or face or whatever.. to find just one thing that she likes about herself.
Ya know, even if your Inner Bitch is doin’ backflips, being a total fucktard and the only thing you can muster is how amazing your damn hairline is.
Go with it.
Shine your torch beam there.
So there it was, the problem that I thought was my mouth, was actually my head.
Now without sounding like some crazed conspiracist, I genuinely believe that we, as women, are being conditioned to have a warped image of what our bodies and faces should look like.
I mean all you’ve gotta do is scroll for 10 seconds on Instagram to be met with yet another identical, overly contoured, lip filled millennial wanna- be, striking the same pose as the last you just scrolled past.
Or the one baring her fallopian tubes for likes and follows.
And if that’s you?
Then, ya know what … more power to you, seriously.
If that’s your thing then I’m down for it.
You do YOU.
And if lip filler is your thing, I am in no way opposed to you doin’ your thing and can highly recommend The Consultant Clinic and their medical staff to look after you.
For me, there ain’t nothing wrong with self improvement that comes from a place of self lova lovin’.
But the lip thing, it’s just not for me.
So if you’re with the rebels.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The just wanna feel happy in my own skin, squad.
I don’t think you should be boxed in to thinking that you need to be or DO things a certain way either, which is the same ethos I use with my personal training clients.
We get results in an unorthodox way, behind all the bullshit of an industry that’s letting us down.
And just to put that into perspective, something I saw, not long after the lip filler fiasco was a programme about precious stones (yes I am that unapologetically geeky)..
here’s what I discovered…
When the gemologists are distinguishing between real and fake emeralds. It’s always the perfect ones that are called out as the fakes.
I’ll just let ya think about that.
Love ya xxx